


I Love You

by Skarsguardian_Reader



Category: No Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 18:16:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16837834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skarsguardian_Reader/pseuds/Skarsguardian_Reader
Summary: I Love You. The most heartbreaking words to hear before they leave.





	1. 1

A/N: So its pouring rain right now and this little story came to mind. No clue what it is or if it’s any good. It’s the first thing I’ve written of Bill. So please, feedback would be nice. 

“I love you.”

It was the last thing he said before he left. I didn’t understand it then, and still don’t now. If he loved me, why would he leave me?

I watched as bolts of lightning lit up the night sky, claps of thunder shaking my house. The storm reminded me of that night.

“I don’t get it. What did I do wrong? Or what didn’t I do?” I practically begged him to explain.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Y/N. This has nothing to do with you.” I scoffed at his reply.

“You’re seriously using that? It’s not you, it’s me. That’s bullshit and you know it Bill.” I was fighting back tears. Trying to make myself get angry. Anger would hurt less.

“It’s not you.” The excuse sounded sad, even to him.

“Then what Bill?” I jumped as the first clap of thunder sounded, lightning flashing as the power went out.

“I just can’t do it anymore.”

I sipped my tea, trying to erase the thoughts from my head. He had left three months ago, but i still couldn’t stop stop myself from thinking about him. He was everywhere these days. On TV, on magazines, but mostly on my mind.

“Can’t do what?” I demanded. I needed a reason. Something to blame for all of this.

“I just can’t. Everything. It’s all too much!” He yelled, tears coming to his eyes. Finally I felt the anger I wanted, but I no longer welcomed it.

“Too much? What would you know about too much?” I curled my hands into fists, biting back tears.

“All of this. The media, the rumors, this.” He gestured between us. I couldn’t believe him.

I stood from my spot at the window to take my mug to the sink. I placed it down and started to run the water. Another clap of thunder making my heart skip as I jumped. It was nights like this that I missed him most.

“Just talk to me Bill, please? Don’t let this break us.” I pleaded. I had fallen hard and fast for the tall Swede, and I didn’t want to lose him.

“It already has. I’m sorry Y/N.” He picked up his bag and walked to the door. I took a step towards him but he was already out the door. “I love you.” The door shut, sounding louder as the storm went quiet. I broke down, in the middle of the hall. Crying as my heart broke in half.

I shook my head to clear. Distracting myself by washing my mug and spoon. Taking my time to dry it. It worked for a moment, then he was back on my mind.

I hadn’t seen him, in person, since that night. I hadn’t talked to him. I could never bring myself to call him, or press send on the messages I typed out. I wouldn’t know what to say, or if he’d even answer.

I place my mug in the rack to dry before returning to my seat at the window. My power had long ago went out at the apex of the storm. The only light I had was the constant strikes of lightning. With each flash came a new memory of him, memories I had locked away and tried to forget.

Crack!

“Bill Skarsgård, you’re not funny. Give me back my camera.” I covered my face as he tried, yet again, to take my picture.

“C’mon baby, you look so beautiful. Just one picture and you can have it back.” 

Boom!

“Are you crying?” Bill looked down at me, and amused smile on his lips.

“What? No.” I wiped at my face, trying to hide that I was in fact crying.

“Yes you are. Baby, you’ve seen this movie a hundred plus times since you were a baby. You know who it ends.” I glared softly at him.

“It’s still sad when they think he’s dead, and then everyone donates money to help him.” More tears started to fall. Bill pulled me close and kissed my forehead, chuckling softly to himself.

Snap!

“I think we should break up.” The words struck me deep, making my heart stop and beat faster all at once.

“What? Why?” I searched his face, as if the reason would be written on it.

“It’s for the best. Just, please, don’t make this harder than it already is?” He wouldn’t look me in the eye.

“No! Bullshit! Give me a real reason!” I stood, taking a step away from him, from the words he was saying.

The thunder shook my house, almost muffling the knock at my door. I looked towards it, waiting to see if I was hearing things. A second passes and who ever is at the door knocks again. I stand up and grab my phone from the counter, readying it to call for help if needed. I grab my bat from the hall closet, keeping it in one hand but out of sight.

I don’t bother looking through the peephole. With the power I out, I won’t be able to see anything without the porch light. I open the door and peek out. My heart sinking into my stomach when the storm lights up the face of the person at my door.

“Bill?”


	2. 2

I stared in shock. For three months I had thought about him. Wished he’d come back, wished I’d see him again. And now, he’s here. Standing in the downpour, staring at me like he just realized where he is, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted him here.

“C-can I come in?” I didn’t say anything, just opened my door wider and stepped aside. He stepped in, allowing me to close the door before standing on the welcome mat.

“I’ll uh, I’ll get you a towel.” I stammered before rushing off, barely hearing his soft ‘thank you’. I grabbed a towel from the linen closet, and a trash bag to collect his clothes. I walked back to him to see he hadn’t moved an inch.

“You can put your clothes in this bag. I think I have some of your clothes in my closet you can wear.” He nodded and took the bag and towel. I didn’t wait for a response before rushing off to my room. Using my phone’s flash to look through my closet.

“Bill, please? Can’t we just talk about this?” I had ran after him. Not caring about the storm or the fact that I was only a t-shirt and shorts. I couldn’t just watch him leave.

He didn’t answer me. He just put his bags in the back seat before getting in the car and pulling out the driveway. I watched his tail lights disappear down the road. Standing there silently hoping that he’d come back.

It wasn’t till a loud crack of thunder and bright flash that I realized he wasn’t coming back. Despite the biting cold of the storm, I felt nothing. I was numb as I walked into my house.

“Did you find them?” Bill asked from the doorway, making me jump. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to. I knocked.” He held his hands up like he was awaiting an attack.

“It’s fine,” I grabbed his sweats and t-shirt, “here you go.” We traded, dry clothes for wet ones. I left him to get dressed. I walked to the laundry room, and placed his stuff on the dryer. If the power came back on I could dry them for him.

“You can’t seriously continue to sulk at home. It’s been a month Y/N.” My best friend tried to get me out of the house for the eighth time that month. Once again I didn’t budge.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware my sadness and hurt, and sulking,” I spat the phrase at her, “had a time limit. You’re right. It has been a month of not knowing, being alone, and missing him. Guess I’m done and over it.”

She reeled back like slapped her. I didn’t mean to be a bitch but I was tired of her and my other friends not understanding that this wasn’t a break-up. It was a heartbreak. He didn’t just dump me. He broke me, and didn’t give me a reason.

“Are you ok?” Again his voice made me jump. I turned to look at him. I know he was asking if I was ok right now, not in an overall sense, but I couldn’t answer. I just brushed past him and returned to my seat at the window.

I heard Bill enter the room but I didn’t look at him. I had nothing to say to him. At least nothing I could bring myself to say.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come.” He grabbed his keys and turned to go get his clothes.

“Then why did you?” I still didn’t look at him but from the rustling of the carpet I knew he turned to look at me.

“I couldn’t take it anymore. I hate that I left. I hate that I even thought it. I hate myself for hurting you.” I cut him off.

“Why did you leave?” It’s the only thing I wanted to know.

“You deserved better. Better than what I was giving you.” He sounded broken, almost as broken as I felt.

“Don’t. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to sound hurt and broken. Not after everything.” My anger, the anger I wanted that night, was rising up. Choking me.

“You left Bill. Without a single explanation. You walked in here and packed your shit and left. For three months, three fucking months, I tried to find a reason.” I stood from my seat. Sitting made me feel small, valuable. I didn’t want that, not tonight.

“I thought of everything. Maybe you cheated and weren’t man enough to tell me. Maybe you found someone else and just couldn’t say. Maybe you never wanted me in the first place. Maybe you thought I cheated.” I listed everything I thought of. Every reason I could come up with. With each one it looked like I had slapped him.

“For weeks I cried myself to sleep wondering what went wrong. Took me nearly three months to sleep in my own bed.” I was yelling now. Everything I’ve been holding in was pouring out. I was done keeping quiet and mulling things over.

“Not once did you ever think to tell me why you left. A phone call, a text, a goddamn letter! Anything would have been better than what I went through.” I stood, breathing hard, heart racing. The ball was in his court now.

“I wanted you to be happy.” I tried to cut him off again but he held his hand up. “Stop. You wanted the reason I’ve giving it, so shut the fuck up and listen.” I went quiet. Not once had he ever spoken to me like that.

“I wanted you to be happy, and I saw what my career was doing to you. You spent days, hell months, not sleeping right because I was somewhere else filming. You watched your friends in happy relationships, all well missing me cause I was away.” He walked closer to me, towering over me.

“You deserved to be happy. With someone who could be here all the time, someone you could wake up next to everyday. I love you Y/N, more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life and I hated watching you lose sleep and fake smiles.” This time I cut him off by placing my hand over his mouth.

“I was happy, Bill. I didn’t care about the nights alone or the time apart cause I supported you and your career, and it made our time together that much more special. I’d put up with it for the rest of my life as long as it meant I get to be with you.” I cupped his cheek, thumb lightly brushing over his cheek bone. He leaned into my touch, pressing his hand over mine and closing his eyes.

“I never wanted to hurt you, I wanted you to be happy.” I pulled my hand away and took a step back. I looked up at him, raw emotion clear in my eyes.

“Then you shouldn’t have left.”


	3. 3

“Then you shouldn’t have left.”

I looked at Bill, unsure of what to do next. I had wanted him to come back, hell, I dreamt it most nights.

I laid in bed, staring at the wall. For weeks the bed felt too big and too small all at once. My blankets were too heavy. Nothing felt right without him beside me.

I had just given up on trying to sleep when I heard the front door open. It could only be one person, no one else had a key. I held my breath, listening to the floorboards creak as he walked to the room. My door cracked open just enough for him to step in.

He moved quietly, kicking his shoes off and undressing. Once he was in his boxers he lifted the blankets on his side of the bed and crawled in next to me.

“Bill?” I reached out to him only to have him fade and wake up to an empty bed. 

“You’re right, I shouldn’t have left.” He surged forward, cupping my face in both hands. Before I could process what he was doing his lips were on mine. I couldn’t hold back the moan that slipped out. My hand gripped his shirt pulling him closer. Our lips moved together effortlessly.

“Call me an idiot, tell me it was stupid and wrong, make me earn every ounce of your trust and love back.” He kissed me again, swiping his tongue over my bottom lip. I clung to him, pressing my body against his.

“Just don’t make me or ask me to leave.” This time he kissed my neck, skipping the teasing and going straight to my sweet spot.

“You leave again and I swear to every god in existence, I’ll never forgive you.” I gripped his shirt and turned us around so I could push him down on the seat by the window. I straddled his lap and kissed him, tugging on his shirt till I lifted it over his head. Tossing it behind me a flash of lightning lit us both up.

The lightning seemed to spark something in us. Call it need or lust, or desperation, but with each crack of thunder each flash of lightning our clothes hit the floor. With his lips on mine he thrusted into me. My nails dug into his shoulders, teeth sinking into the flesh of his lip. The feel of him inside me again had me close to cumming without any further stimulation.

“I missed you so fucking much.” He practically growled against my neck, nipping at the skin. I tried to respond but all conprehesable thought left my mind as he started to move. His hips thrusting into me hard, before drawing back slowly. His arms around my waist, holding him up and against him so he had room to move. I tried to move with him but he held me tight.

His movement grew to be animalistic. He laid me on the seat, pulling my legs up to wrap around his waist. Placing his hands on either side of me he started snapping his hips forward. Each time our bodies met the thunder cracked. Each time my body arched in pleasure the lightning lit up my house.

My hands gripped his biceps, nails digging into his skin. He hissed from the pain slowing down his movements, thrusting deep, hand trailing down my body slowly. His thumb pressed against my clit, rubbing it in circles. I cried out his name, feeling my orgasm take over. 

My hips bucked up against his, my walls clenching around him. Bill thrusted in, grinding against me as he released. My name falling from his lips in a sinful mantra. We clung to each other trying to calm our hearts and breathing easily again.

He laid his head on my chest, body shaking and covered in sweat. Keeping my legs wrapped loosely around him I ran fingers through his hair. We laid in silence, my mind racing with everything that could happen next.

Was this a mistake? Would I wake up in the morning to find that he left again? Or would he…

“Stop.” His voice stopped my inner thoughts.

“Stop thinking. No this wasn’t a mistake, at least, not for me. Yes I’ll still be here in the morning. No I won’t leave in few days, or weeks, or months, or years. I don’t ever wanna go a day without knowing you’re mine.” I couldn’t help the smile on my face.

He always seemed to know exactly what was on my mind. Sometimes it was annoying but now, I missed it too much to care.

“I’m yours, for as long as we both decide to actually work at this, and not turn tail and run when it gets difficult.” He looked up at me, face illuminated by the lightning.

“I love you.”


End file.
